Tuesday, 26 February 2013

Step Aside Clooney!

The law states that it is a parents role to occasionally embarrass ones offspring…last weekend it was favourite daughter’s turn.
Following a trip to the cinema with Mr C to see the latest James Bond movie Skyfall last year, favourite son requested the previous 2 Bond DVDs starring Daniel Craig for Christmas.
Against my will I was forced to watch Casino Royale & Quantum of Solace as a ‘Family-Bonding-Exercise’…the thought of which filled me with dread (watching James Bond not being with the family….lol)
BUT…Ding! Dong! Hello Sailor! Waft! Waft!
Anyway, the Skyfall DVD arrived in the shops last week and at almost every turn in the supermarket there’s a life-size cardboard cut-out of God Mr Craig, with those piercing blue eyes, watching me fill my trolley. I joked to favourite daughter that I’d like one of those cut-outs to take home. A barrage of groans and stooopid questions like ‘Why?’ were all that was needed for me to put my plan into action.
Last weekend I dropped said daughter off in town to hang out with her pals while son n’ heir & I did some shopping. Whilst in the supermarket I asked a member of staff what would happen to the life-sized Mr Craig once all Skyfall promotion was over. I can hardly bring myself to write this but… his fate lay with ‘The Compactor’ which sounded like a heinous Bond villain so I asked if I could ‘have him’ (which on reflection probably sounded soooo wrong at the time) after they’d finished with him.
They asked which cut-out I would like so, whilst I watched over our grocery shopping bags, Oliver marched them to the other end of the store to point out which one I was after so a ‘reservation’ could be put on him. Moments later I saw Oliver appear in the distance proudly carrying a 6 foot Daniel Craig, heads turning in bewilderment as he walked pass 20+ check-outs teeming with customers.
Within seconds Mr Craig was stood beside me…This was My Moment.
I rang Sophie & said we were going home and if she wanted a lift (which I knew she would….MWHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!) to meet us just inside the supermarket doorway where we would wait for her MWHAHAHAHAHA again!!!
Oh the look on her face when she arrived was PRICELESS!!!
Carrying him & 100 bags of shopping across the car-park was also priceless as was trying to squeeze 2 kids, Me, 100 bags of shopping & a 6 foot cardboard Daniel Craig into the car.
So here he stands in the conservatory, where I can watch over him thru’ the kitchen window. Much-Beloveds initial ‘cardboard-envy’ has now waned and he sees ‘Dan’ more as a burglar deterrent rather than something for me to be found fondling & drooling over on these cold winter evenings.
Anyway, favourite daughter suitably embarrassed…Tick…my work here is done.


christi said...

omg, I am so sitting here laughing all the way. I love when it's "our turn" for some fun at the kiddies expence. just a brilliant idea. I think he needs to be like flat Stanley and have some more adventures before he is lost forever. perhaps a scrapbook page or two is in order? too cute!

heidy said...

Ha ha Jane,love this!!
XXX Heidy

Faye said...

Do not ever allow Mr Craig to leave your house. I'd say I'll have him, but I'm not sure what kind of stains are on him now. X

Amanda said...

This is too funny, hubbie was also suitably impressed with the reenactment. Has she forgiven you yet? Hugs, Amanda x

Sue said...

Oh Jane, I haven't laughed so much in ages!!!! My hubby just came over to see what I have been laughing at and has declared that you are mad!
I love all your photos with Mr Craig in different positions although I have to say that my favourite is the topless one!!
Thank you Jane, you have really cheered me up!
Sue xx

Ali said...

Absolutely Brilliant!!!!

Tammy said...

Excuse me while I put on dry pants! OMGoodness, what a wonderful way to embarrass your daughter, even George would be proud!

Chrissy said...

Too funny Jane, your poor daughter, but sooo funny,wished you took a photo of her..and hubba hubba...what a man..


Tracey said...

Your work as an embarrassing parent is done ;)

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